It's so hot...

Run out of ways to express how hot it is? In honor of the 114 degree heat index yesterday in Lowell, Arkansas, here's my very own top 10 list.

In Arkansas, it's hotter than...

10. A flamethrower on a wheat field.

9. A habanero pepper sniffing contest.

8. A mother gorilla in a fur coat.

7. Lindsey Lohan's lawyer (hotter as in angrier).

6. Taking a bath in a swimming pool full of hot tar.

5. A wolverine set on fire, covered in fire ants, and shot through a canon.

4. Running the Olympic Torch across the Saharan dessert burning an oxyacetylene flame.

3. Drinking a bottle of Tobasco sauce and then pointing a giant sun-magnifying glass at your tongue.

2. Bungee jumping into an active volcano.

1. Women from The View talking politics (again, hotter as in angrier)